id be glad to
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
