So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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