i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Sorry about my life...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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