I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
