Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize