So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
