she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
