I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
