so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize