Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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