Heybabeimwearingurpanties
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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