I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
