Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
