"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
