I got chris browned last night
I didn't shave. On purpose
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize