he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
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Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
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You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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