there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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