I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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