Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
