Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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