So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
