he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize