I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
if only i could text you this smell
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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