somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
