i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
