Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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