The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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