My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
