one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
