My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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