he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
