All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
