READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i will never coherently bang her
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
