happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
