talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize