he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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