She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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