New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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