Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
