I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
