I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
