Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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