im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
