every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
