the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
