We're facebook friends in real life
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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