It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
