I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Brb crying the tears of my youth
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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