We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
