we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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