how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
