you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
