I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
My life is pants optional.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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