I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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