please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
