Nicole vs. Life
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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