Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
