Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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