your room smells of hookers.
And success
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
