My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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