i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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